One Year Later
"And He shall wipe away all their tears ..." Revelation 21:4
I really don’t want to be here,
but when God told me to write He was sincere.
It’s been 1 year but the pain still feels like yesterday.
Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow sometimes it all feels the same. So who’s to blame?
I wish I had somebody I could hate, but the gentle way Dad was laid to rest I can appreciate.
A year later I’m a broken man, better yet a boy that just misses his daddy.
Like a caddy, I carry the legacy, pain and emotion on the inside.
I still cry.
But I don’t cry tears cause I’m hopeless, I cry tears cause I’m hopeful.
A handful, of times I just get mad and want to cuss.
But no matter the fuss I know you’re still resting, cause God’s testing.
Me.
It’s just sometimes I feel like I’m failing, cause my heart is ailing
and I need you to help me be a man.
But you’ve done your job. … And now it’s my turn.
So I return the knowledge you’ve given Me to my son.
Just one
Just one time, one moment I wish you two could meet.
He’s got a smile that would knock you off of your feet.
I concede defeat
Because sometimes it’s just too much.
One touch
One look at him and I see me. I look in the mirror and I see you.
I look again and I see us. …So where is the trust?
The trust is there but it doesn’t heal the pain.
It doesn’t remove the stain.
So I’m pointing to the heavens, “In Jesus name”
Take this pain,
I’m shook to the frame
and when I’ve had enough
… Lord just keep me sane!
This is how I grieve
Through this pen and pad
I love you dad, I just wish I could write how bad.
No descriptions No words, no thoughts
Could ever paint that canvas.
I can’t stand this,
But your son has got to be the man,
No better yet the father, no bother
I find it a joy, cause like a toy I throw him up like you used to do me.
It’s like life repeats itself so fluently.
So now I’m in your shoes and they feel quite comfortable.
You’ve done your job so there’s no more need to rhyme.
This is for you.
This is for EJ
This is for Me
This is for us
See ya when I get there.
Revalation 21:4
6 Comments »
Leave a Reply
-
Recent
-
Links
-
Archives
- May 2010 (1)
- March 2010 (1)
- December 2009 (1)
- November 2009 (3)
- June 2009 (2)
- May 2009 (2)
- March 2009 (1)
- January 2009 (5)
-
Categories
-
RSS
Entries RSS
Comments RSS
Hello Eddie, that was beautiful. I lost my granny a year and a half ago (nov 8, 08). that was the hardest thing that I have ever had to deal with in my life. I can only imagine losing a parent. Your words brought tears to my eyes and at the same time gave me encouragement. Thank you for that. keep your head up and be the daddy to your son like your dad was to you (I know that goes without saying).
My thoughts will be with you and yours today (all day)
Janet
Eddie, thank you for sharing such personal sentiments. I had to hold back the tears (since I’m at work). Your words were beautiful and its obvious that your father was a good man, and left a legacy. My heart and prayers go out to you and your family today as you remember your dad with both joy and tears. My hope is that you will be comforted by knowing excactly what you said in your blog, that the best way to honor your dad is to be a good father to your son and pass the legacy on.
Dude, we got to get together. I kinda been keeping my stuff and work out issues on my own. I listened to a tape of me and dad talking the other day, just checking out the wisdom he shared, that his dad shared with me. My thoughts, prayers, and that CLEAR WORD bible is definitely on not just all 4 in the immediate family, but that BIG BUNCH OF POWELLS I met last yr. Yall are still DEEP in ATL metro area from since Sabrina’s wedding. Be where you are man, then stay strong. I think you a great writer man
I feel you my brother. We remembered March 21, 2010 – one year later. At work I sat at my desk, back to my team and in the silence I cried again. It gets better everyday, the healing that is. I call to remember the teachable moments when he had something profound to say. Profound to me, but simply routine to him. He was a man of wisdom and experience, yet crazy funny. My prayers are with you. I enjoyed reading your blog. Hang in there man we’re going to make it with God’s help.
Beautiful words! Writing is a good way to get your grieving thoughts out. Keep that up. It definitely helps. Just want to post a good memory. I remember when your dad when our family came to visit, on sunday morning he would get up and cook a full breakfast complete with pancakes and eggs and those biscuits..etc….and you could tell he loved to do it. Just as much as we loved to eat his cooking. We loved to visit and Uncle Martin was definitely a fun-loving person who enjoyed people. We miss him along with my Dad but be comforted in knowing we will see them both soon in the resurrection.
Heavy, yet encouraging. As one of your good friends, I must say that it has been inspiring to watch you since your father passed. I just remember the day it happened and Denry and I came by and saw you in a state that neither of us had ever seen you before; it was hard for us to see a dear friend in so much pain. Now one year later and the birth of E-Jax you are an encouragement to many. We’ve said before that as the crew of brothers we draw from each other’s qualities and I personally draw from your resolve. Stay strong and continue to share what God inspires you to write.